I make the unoriginal claim that these titles are my own.  They’re not.  I think music inspires my thinking and writing.  When I’m walking around campus, I’ll hear a song on my playlist i.e. Johnny Cash-Folsom Prison Blues, and I say to myself “my next blog title”.  How creative? Not really. But you can believe as you want.  Life is a prison in many ways.  See, a nice packaged thesis just as my english teacher taught me.  Yes, I can do as I’m told.  I see my life for what it is not really what I want it to be.  I am imprisoned by my own choices.  I choose to buy a T-Mobile MDA (htc wizard).  I am now connected to everything and anything.  Anybody can get in touch with me through several avenues.  E-mail, Voice, and SMS.  I am now on the leash.  I put myself on that leash. Self-imposed if you will.  Am I scared I’m going to miss something.  I don’t know.  Are we all scared we are going to miss out on the next big thing.  Whatever the fuck that might be.  This device has it’s positives although most of my buds on HowardForums would disagree citing their complete hatred for a Microsoft (Windows Mobile 5) product.  I can access the web in full browser.  I can write full e-mails.  I CAN DO IT.  I’d let it shave my face if it could err?  Technology is so intrusive.  I have been so scared and excited.  A dichotomy.  An even balance of love and hatred.  I was in 6th grade when I started building computers.  Quietly.  Telling no one of the projects attempted with my father. Why? It was dorky.  Power of society controlling me.  Who cares?  Soon enough, I knew what everyone wanted to know.  People’s shit fucked up, and they called me.  Sound familiar? Kinda like my job today. lol.  I’m scared of what people will do with technology.  Good things in bad hands  Surveillance, wire taps, FUCK FUCK FUCK. NO PLEASE DONT, NO.  Yah, I felt that.  People are watching me.  The camera in the student center watches as I flip it off.  Why does it intend on watching me closely. WHY?  Stay the fuck away from me.  What I do is my business.  Well, the Bush administration seems to think my private business should be public knowledge.  Bastards!  And yet i sit back not giving two shits when one party takes control and another one doesn’t .  Who is to say Democrats wouldn’t be taking advantage of the situation.  Cracking voting machines.  Laughing at paper trails.  Infringing rights without any regard.  Sickening.  Is this what we were born to do?  To kill, watch, pester, fuck with, haggle, point at the rest of our brothers and sisters. I mean shit where do these people get off.  I love my ipod.  I love my mobile phone.  You know you do too.  You’re buying the next ringtone while I’m throwing up 15 thousand sms messages per month.  Addiction? You bet.  Feed the masses.  Our media craved culture can’t get enough.  Are we missing something? Probably. Regrets? Never.

Interestingly enough, I went to a kickass poetry reading. I guess you could say it’s a reason I started this blog. Maybe. Maybe not. I needed somewhere to sit my mind down. Let it bleed a bit. Well back to my story. I saw Amiri Baraka read poetry. I wouldn’t even call it poetry. It was one big mesh, a huge puzzle that had so many peices I don’t even know if I put them all together. I don’t think that was the point. I took some things away from the reading. Feelings. Things I haven’t felt since I was in Kentucky. I honestly felt just a smidge more alive. I needed that. When you are in a state of hopelessness, it grinds you down. Grinds to the bone. I needed to be in a room with people who have similar beliefs and thoughts as me. Every moment that I am in a meaningful class, I am fighting tooth and fucking nail against everyone and their mom. It’s nice to put the guard down and enjoy. I knew that life would be some what like this. I didn’t know the extent. I don’t care. It is what it is. It’s life, and I’m not here to change the world. It would be ludicrous. I sat there. I damn near cried. This guy had to be at least 80 years old, and he’s on stage saying fuck bush. I needed some healthy dissent. I’m half as outspoken as was in the past. Mainly because I just don’t give a shit. If people want to be ignorant, that’s their own fault for not wanting to know. I say this in a college setting. I see college as doing a couple things. Two main things. Reinforcing your beliefs. Changing your beliefs. College can be all the evidence you ever needed to reinforce both positive and negative beleifs. I am the ranting liberal in class. AND IM NOT THAT LIBERAL. I’m a fucking moderate for god’s sake. I knew that this poetry reading had affected more than just me. I e-mailed a professor that I saw and knew went. She was blown out of the water. Completely inspired. Amazing. My girlfriend actually invited me to go because she had to attend five “multi-cultural events” for a class. This adds just another peice to puzzle. Every way I spin it, interesting things fly up. Life is good By the way, Alabama won. Florida did too. Roll Tide